Mood swings.

A few days ago I was somehow stuck with this brilliant idea that I should quit everything and start from scratch. I was somehow not satisfied with my life. My quest to encounter something incredible that would ultimately bring meaning to this pointless “pawn” life wasn’t even remotely taking shape. Don’t get me wrong, if I were running behind this vibrantly glamorous idea of being successful, I am very close to it. Hell, I work for Harley Davidson; I don’t think it can get any better unless Bill Gates walks up to me, hands me his empire and says take it I am going to apply for a position under Mr. Jobs. And since I ‘changed’ my major to computer science, the brain has been thoroughly scraping away the rust that had been built upon the left hemisphere. But one fine day, I woke up and said let me just do it another way and see what happens. I only said it, I have not acted upon it yet.

For some bizarre reason, I can’t comprehend why I don’t just let go of what I have now and dive into the unknown. I can almost smell that different life and I could bite into it if I want to. Right this second! One little persuasive argument and I am out. I start thinking about how I do have an amazing job with even sweeter people to work with me. How I love to go to school and there is no place on earth that would teach me to learn (except 216.239.51.99 of course).

I am undeniably a very confused person. I am constantly choosing between traditional methods and contemporary ones. However, not everyone is awarded the opportunity to choose. Either you are born in a traditional family or you are a nomad. I am one of the very few statistics that do exist. I could make it a completely pulsating life if I choose to! Only if I choose to! I have the luxury to choose a between a competitive fast paced life and to understand and take things at my pace, not necessarily slow. Regardless, I am somehow always drawn to the simple breakdowns of reaching goals and heart touching inspirational quotes. I continue to re-experiment the already experimented life approaches. So the outcome most usually is the same. Its not my struggle to be different, its a struggle to understand and reason it out. If i fall into the realm of walk this path and you will reach THE destination, it will be too late on the day I realize that it wasn't the destination I was meant to go to. I will have missed my entire journey. Or may be the outcome might not be as bad. It might just be my amature shots into the dark. I don't know. I guess I never will till I make a decision and learn to stick to it.