A humble influence.

It is not going to change the world but I did something I couldn't possibly consider putting on my to-do list a couple of years ago. Charity. worldvision.org has been my personal favorite for a while now and I finally contributed.

It had been a long journey for me to be able to get to this point. I am not saying I did something mind-blowing or anything unachievable. However, saving money had always been an issue with me. If I find even two dollars in my jeans pocket, I would spend it on clothes, perfumes, accessories, nail polishes and many silly things that don’t really matter in the end. I was so addicted to fashionable things that I was on collegefashion.net even on the nights before exam days. If I could make it from pay check to pay check without going negative on my debit card, it would be a moment to celebrate. I didn’t know I was this addicted till I received this one email forward (which I had seen a lot of times earlier, however had an impact on me this time) that showed an African kid walk with shoes made of plastic bottles while the rest of the world had a choice between Pumas and Nikes. I was disgusted in myself. It hurt my ego so much to a point where I couldn’t really accept myself while using Hypnose or Stevemaddens.

I knew I had to make a change and I didn’t entirely know how to. I wanted this change to happen over night. It didn’t. I was disappointed but didn’t stop. I started with giving away 90% of my clothes to good will and friends. It saved me a lot of time every morning from trying 3 different outfits. There was no confusion, I only picked so many clothes to keep and they look good on me no matter how I wear them. I don’t think it hindered me from pursuing a ‘fashionable’ life one bit. I blocked sites like forever21.com and chineselaundry.com on my laptop. I could unblock them- but I resisted.

First I found myself saving so much time to actually catch up with friends instead of being sucked into the internet black hole. When catching up with friends, I chose to workout with them instead of dumping Starbucks down my throat. We all know the benefits of working out. I cut out friends that made me waste money and time. I might be still acquaintances with them but I definitely don’t go shopping with them on daily basis. I have learned how to live healthy and happy- thanks to Golbon! (Sorry I never mentioned it, but you are an amazing friend, don’t get all teary now :P)

I was contemplating life today, (which I constantly do but never exceptionally useful) and found myself to be much happier than I used to be a couple of years ago. I reflected on the past and realized what that single email forward had done to me. Whoever that kid in the photo was, had done more to me than he could possibly realize, and I had to give back one way or the other. I chose charity.

Ps. I have been very cautious about sharing my addiction and the change process. I was worried about how others might judge me now that I am going to be a frugal spender. Then realized it was my Amygdala inducing fear and such. Screw you Amygdala- I am free now!