Bored.

Rant on the education system.

2011-03-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

"Education has not evolved with modern times. I find it horrible that only 15-20 credits (4-5 classes) of my entire college education (currently 175+ credits) are even remotely useful to my career. The fact that a student (freshman/sophomore) working 3 months in the computer science industry can easily outperform and outclass a full grad without experience demonstrates a severe failure in curriculum and education ethos.

Countless manpower hours are wasted in this country (and others) due to the failure of higher education. Poor code needs to be fixed, maintained, redesigned, recoded, and often discarded completely. Some would argue that this would be a failure of design, but industry experience shows that good design, although necessary, can only triage the impact of poor coding. All this poor code starts a severely wasteful budget draining loop and this leads to even lower quality programmers working for even lower pay (outsourcing).

As we approach the limits of computational processing power and speed. It is becoming increasingly important that institutions emphasize EXTREMELY high levels of code quality. An engineer that can merely write code is functionally worthless and easily replaceable. Useful developers write code with optimization, modularity, maintainability, collaboration, and adaptability in mind. When developers write code with these principles, software will improve from its base layer all the way to the application/user layers. These intelligent developers are so rare they often get sucked into administrative roles and their skills arent put to good use. Optimization, modularity, maintainability, collaboration, adaptability, and self-learning all need to be critical core components of the Computer Science Curriculum (all facets of CS depends on these principles).

If all new graduates could develop with these core skills it would have an immense impact not only within companies but within the country as well. Companies will finish their projects sooner but also at a much higher quality, allowing for future projects to be completed faster. This starts a chain reaction. Companies will have more money to spend on software development if software maintenance (wasted time) can be reduced. If the quality of insourced code yields higher profit and growth than outsourced code companies will look to create more positions within the country. This creates more jobs for graduates and a generally increased GDP.

For example, is not necessary to force CS students into useless classes on the low level aspects of networking. This is an IT/CE focus and is nothing but a meaningless chore to to a CS student. Instead offer a course on developing network applications, CS students will be much more engaged and interested. But most importantly.. this is an extremely useful thing to learn. It is near impossible to find software that does not/will not interface with a network of some sort. So why are we teaching students to calculate attenuation or how many cellphones a cluster of towers can support at a given bandwith when it is completely useless information to the CS student.

In summary, almost all CS students are only in college for their piece of paper (degree) and their actual academic enrichment even begin until after college. A travesty!"
-Zeeshaun Masood

Memories.

2011-03-21T20:11:00.001-07:00

I was so caught up with what's true and what's not. If people liked me or not. If life is sync-ed up with the idea of finding a meaning or not.

I am done. And I want to pursue happiness.

I just want to create memories.

I don't want to live a pretentious life. And I don't want to be fake.

I will smile when I want to and I will take pictures with whom I want to.

I will give all my heart to everything I love and not waste it on things insignificant.

Amen.

Adoption.

2011-01-31T06:50:00.000-08:00

“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”
Pablo Casals

"What if a child is born into poverty and sickness, but had the potential to be a future Gandhi or Einstein?! What if the circumstances make him something that he isn't meant to be?"
Rapi

Intended action to adopt a child - Has not happened yet.

So I decided to go ahead and virtually adopt a child. I might not see her every day or kiss her good night and tuck her in... but I know Im making a difference by helping her out financially. I will write letters and keep in touch :D

Her name is Katie, 11 years old and she's from Sierra Leon. :)

"Katie is pretty girl who lives with her parents in Bumban Town. They live in a small house made of mud brick and roofed with zinc. Her parents are subsistence farmers and traders and it is out of the farming and trading that they survived. They parents spend less than US$180 per annum. Katie sleeps on a mat spread on the floor. Katie is very intelligent in school. She walks to school bare footed and wear torn uniform. Her hobbies are balance ball, singing and dancing cultural music. She is a Limba by tribe and a Christian by religion. With the help of a sponsorship program, she would make a better tomorrow."

My love and prayers are for her! I wish her all the success and joy in the world!

A humble influence.

2010-03-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

It is not going to change the world but I did something I couldn't possibly consider putting on my to-do list a couple of years ago. Charity. worldvision.org has been my personal favorite for a while now and I finally contributed.

It had been a long journey for me to be able to get to this point. I am not saying I did something mind-blowing or anything unachievable. However, saving money had always been an issue with me. If I find even two dollars in my jeans pocket, I would spend it on clothes, perfumes, accessories, nail polishes and many silly things that don’t really matter in the end. I was so addicted to fashionable things that I was on collegefashion.net even on the nights before exam days. If I could make it from pay check to pay check without going negative on my debit card, it would be a moment to celebrate. I didn’t know I was this addicted till I received this one email forward (which I had seen a lot of times earlier, however had an impact on me this time) that showed an African kid walk with shoes made of plastic bottles while the rest of the world had a choice between Pumas and Nikes. I was disgusted in myself. It hurt my ego so much to a point where I couldn’t really accept myself while using Hypnose or Stevemaddens.

I knew I had to make a change and I didn’t entirely know how to. I wanted this change to happen over night. It didn’t. I was disappointed but didn’t stop. I started with giving away 90% of my clothes to good will and friends. It saved me a lot of time every morning from trying 3 different outfits. There was no confusion, I only picked so many clothes to keep and they look good on me no matter how I wear them. I don’t think it hindered me from pursuing a ‘fashionable’ life one bit. I blocked sites like forever21.com and chineselaundry.com on my laptop. I could unblock them- but I resisted.

First I found myself saving so much time to actually catch up with friends instead of being sucked into the internet black hole. When catching up with friends, I chose to workout with them instead of dumping Starbucks down my throat. We all know the benefits of working out. I cut out friends that made me waste money and time. I might be still acquaintances with them but I definitely don’t go shopping with them on daily basis. I have learned how to live healthy and happy- thanks to Golbon! (Sorry I never mentioned it, but you are an amazing friend, don’t get all teary now :P)

I was contemplating life today, (which I constantly do but never exceptionally useful) and found myself to be much happier than I used to be a couple of years ago. I reflected on the past and realized what that single email forward had done to me. Whoever that kid in the photo was, had done more to me than he could possibly realize, and I had to give back one way or the other. I chose charity.

Ps. I have been very cautious about sharing my addiction and the change process. I was worried about how others might judge me now that I am going to be a frugal spender. Then realized it was my Amygdala inducing fear and such. Screw you Amygdala- I am free now!

Yet another decision has been made.

2010-03-08T09:24:00.000-08:00

Better lonesome than befriend a fickle personality. Will help me in the long run. :)

Mood swings.

2010-02-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I was somehow stuck with this brilliant idea that I should quit everything and start from scratch. I was somehow not satisfied with my life. My quest to encounter something incredible that would ultimately bring meaning to this pointless “pawn” life wasn’t even remotely taking shape. Don’t get me wrong, if I were running behind this vibrantly glamorous idea of being successful, I am very close to it. Hell, I work for Harley Davidson; I don’t think it can get any better unless Bill Gates walks up to me, hands me his empire and says take it I am going to apply for a position under Mr. Jobs. And since I ‘changed’ my major to computer science, the brain has been thoroughly scraping away the rust that had been built upon the left hemisphere. But one fine day, I woke up and said let me just do it another way and see what happens. I only said it, I have not acted upon it yet.

For some bizarre reason, I can’t comprehend why I don’t just let go of what I have now and dive into the unknown. I can almost smell that different life and I could bite into it if I want to. Right this second! One little persuasive argument and I am out. I start thinking about how I do have an amazing job with even sweeter people to work with me. How I love to go to school and there is no place on earth that would teach me to learn (except 216.239.51.99 of course).

I am undeniably a very confused person. I am constantly choosing between traditional methods and contemporary ones. However, not everyone is awarded the opportunity to choose. Either you are born in a traditional family or you are a nomad. I am one of the very few statistics that do exist. I could make it a completely pulsating life if I choose to! Only if I choose to! I have the luxury to choose a between a competitive fast paced life and to understand and take things at my pace, not necessarily slow. Regardless, I am somehow always drawn to the simple breakdowns of reaching goals and heart touching inspirational quotes. I continue to re-experiment the already experimented life approaches. So the outcome most usually is the same. Its not my struggle to be different, its a struggle to understand and reason it out. If i fall into the realm of walk this path and you will reach THE destination, it will be too late on the day I realize that it wasn't the destination I was meant to go to. I will have missed my entire journey. Or may be the outcome might not be as bad. It might just be my amature shots into the dark. I don't know. I guess I never will till I make a decision and learn to stick to it.

perfection.

2009-07-20T10:16:00.001-07:00

I am so content at the moment... it cannot be expressed! I have gone beyond being happy. I don't laugh till I get tears in my eyes no more. I don't hold my stomach and fall on the bed screaming the voices of joy anymore. I have surpassed it all. I have gone beyond being ecstatic.

I have my twinkle smile all the time. It might not be visible to all, but he who needs to see it can. I walk with no worries in the mind. There is nothing left pending with life. I have closed all doors, everyone and everything is in the castle. This is the post-celebration syndrome. This is the- I have finished climbing up the mountain, yay, need to only get down with no food or water left- part of life.

I am in love with a lot of things- life, family, flowers, books, craziness, etc.

I want to be what I am now forever.

This is it. :)

midway masala.

2009-05-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

"Conservatism is a political and social term from the Latin verb conservare meaning to save or preserve. As the name suggests it usually indicates support for tradition and traditional values though the meaning has changed in different countries and time periods."

"Liberalism emphasizes individual rights and equality of opportunity."

"Liberal conservatism is a variant of conservatism that combines conservative values and policies with liberal stances."

-Wiki

What is a man to pick?
What is the point?

Somethings, they cannot be changed. And somethings, they just don't stop changing.

Mommy :'(

Spur of the moment

2009-03-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

"It takes not a moment for her to firmly grasp the exact arrow from her quiver, put it to her bow and point it straight at me, with immaculate precision and accuracy. it only surprises me how she's constantly on her guard."

Omg! He writes so beautifully! :D

There is no turning back.

2009-02-18T03:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, you just wanna be in denial. Sometimes it becomes hard to accept the reality. Sometimes you just wanna see them once, one last time. Sometimes you wanna hear their voice and hear them call you 'Ammaduuu...' again. Sometimes you just wanna feel their strong presence. Sometimes you just wanna call them up at 9:00 every night because you always did. Sometimes you want them to praise you 'Maa Ammayi good girl andi' in front of others. Sometimes you want them to recite Ramayana over and over and quiz you 'Dasaratha MahaRaja rendo bharya evaru?' Sometimes you want to see those emotions in their face. Sometimes you just want to act silly by them and get them mad. Sometimes you want them to buy you Sapotas. Sometimes you want ask them 'bazaar ki podama?' and sometimes you want them to correct you, 'podama kaadu nanna, veldama.'

Sometimes you miss them terribly. Sometimes you can't cry because you have to be strong. Sometimes you are so lost in reality that you forget... you forget you are sad.

Sometimes you just don't have what it takes.

death taking over life?

2008-11-30T17:30:00.000-08:00

Trifles light as air
Are to the jealous confirmations strong
As proofs of holy writ.
~William Shakespeare, Othello

So far I haven't witnessed it but at the moment I think I somehow am moving toward comprehending that holy writ. Don't know if it's the best of the things to experience but so far, I know that I do not like it. God forgive me for all the negativity I surround myself with.
I have fallen again and I keep stumbling on the same stone over and over again. Somehow I don't seem to learn from my mistakes. Where am I going wrong? I thought I perfected the decree of morals. I thought I had it all and I always was ready to embrace the adventure in life. I feel weak.
And yet I am strong. Stronger than I knew. Surprises like these are always a great boost.

Cell.

2008-10-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

It comes. It goes. A bystander in my own life. The bubble I live in. The rigorous venture to feel what's outside.

"I am a stranger to myself. I hear my tongue speak, but my ears find that voice strange. I may see my hidden self laughing, crying, defiant frightened, and thus does my being become enamored of my being and thus my soul begs my soul for explanation. But I remain unknown, hidden, shrouded in fog, veiled in silence."

-Khalil Gibran

The misery of an unfortunate.

The extinct irrevocable chances.

The right to uncertain and contingent memory.

Goodness. Just one :D

2008-09-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, we all know about my non existent good qualities.

I don't call people back in a timely manner. I don't respond to anyone in a friendly manner. I drag my close ones down with me when I am emotionally down. My decisions are very flexible. My short spanned interests. Much much much more negative stuff, I DO know about myself. Not that I am proud of them either. But they are a part of me and I accept them.

In the midst of such negativity, last night I discovered that I DO have one good quality that I admire.

He who knows her invites. She accepts gracefully upon the persistence. Now they have met and engaged in the depths of their realm. Smiles around and cheer around. She had softly sighed for her shortcomings. She left.
She notices the world cross swords with him. She had to pick. A choice between a dear friend and the world. A cat on the wall she was not. She picked.

I was content with her choice.

A good quality does exist.

Fly by

2008-09-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

It is quite different. To look at it when standing by it and to look at it when flying by it.

When standing by it, the observations are clearer, the details are firmer and the predictions are forgivable. There is much deeper understanding. There is a lot of appreciation. There is a lot of vulnerability. There is a lot of attachment. There is a lot of value. There is a lot of sensitivity. The sense of owning it prevails and remains. Security is instilled.

But when flying by, there is much misunderstanding. There is the concept- ‘judging’ of its very existence involved. Presumption being that everything is questionable, this very thing is questioned in several different ways and observed in the lime light. Details are usually ignored and apprehensiveness takes over. The absence of sense of belonging leads to competition and competition results in giving the opposition a lower rank.

If you don’t ‘know’ me, you are flying by me. :)

And by ‘knowing’ I don’t mean knowing my past, present or future. I don’t mean knowing my tastes and day-to-day life either.

The rest, go figure :D

2008-09-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

Bored now. So I thought I'd jot down a few things I don't do in general.

#10. I don't bite my nails.
# 9. I don't eat bananas.
# 8. I don't put a welcoming smile when I first meet.
# 7. I don't forget but I forgive.
# 6. I don't read Sci-Fi.
# 5. I don't ask for help often.
# 4. I don't like to go to the temple on a crowded day.
# 3. I don't dress up for guys. Or Girls.
# 2. I don't wear mascara.
# 1. I don't waste money on brand names as much as I love them.

2008-08-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

So much love.

So much smother.

So much care.

So much thought.

So much laughter.

So much life.

So much freedom.

So much all you ever want.

So much void so much more than you know.

Its eating me inside.

I have four invites for tonight.. Dinner, house party, clubbing and Irish fest.
Yet I feel alone.
Void it is.

Lord-o-lord.

2008-08-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

How deep shall I know him if I were to know him at all. How kind is he if he were kind at all. I lay it all at his feet for his acceptance and wait.
All that I have built about myself, a personality, an image, a talent, a skill... all of it. What is it worth when I let him be the judge of it.
I live, I laugh, I wonder. What is it in him that I can't find in others and who is he to keep me waiting. Why is it that he knows not what I am. Why is it that he knows not who I am.
Who are we and when are we to meet if we were to meet at all. And if and when we do meet, how were we to know that we have now met. What is this meeting that would supposedly ease each other to know one another. Is this what meeting is? Or is it a physical union of hand shake instead.
Why do I bother?

Yup I am bored.

2008-08-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

"When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you."- Khalil Gibran

2008-07-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

She takes a walk on that very beach that gets her memories back to her. She was dressed more for comfort and less to avoid the occasional chills she got from those droplets of water. The moving waves took the moons glow against the dark silent night.

She walks with her hands in her pockets looking as though as she was lost in a thought. Big beautiful eyes, round parted lips, slightly tilted head and shoulders thrown back. All so relaxed and yet a sense of sadness was casted through her charming face.

She took little steps staring at the ground and sporadically catching the glimpses of the lake. She took heavy breaths. Her wavy hair was flying away from her face. Her beauty radiated through her face. She looked as though she was filled with despair however.

Slight changes in her face showed her emotional changes.

She fell on her knees all of sudden and tears rolled down her cheeks.

She took her right hand out and slowly looked at the mini sized sharp knife that she was tightly holding between thumb and forefinger.

She made another sudden movement cut her main artery on her left wrist. The blood flowed. She didn't show a sign of pain. Her sadness still remained. Two or three minutes later she couldn't stay on her knees. She collapsed. She fell unconscious. I left.

Birthday wishes?

2008-07-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

Its been well over seven years now.
I still think of you
I still pray for you.
I can't forget you
Your smile, your presence.
I still meditate your name
I still remember everything like its yesterday
You are my only inspiration
You are my only courage
This day is as special as you are
I celebrate this day with awe
More than you or your friends
More than the one who brought you up
I might not have given you back much
But you meant the world to me
And till day You are the only one
I got over you, I don't dream of you
Not anymore I don't
You are still the only one I have fallen for
You are still the only one I have thought about
I miss you dearly.

Happy Birthday.

2008-07-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I just realized that I am not the rule breaking types. I thought I was.

But now I know what that is all about.

I don't break rules but I question authority. If and when I find out that the authority is wrong, I do it the way I want.

No regrets, no tears. I face the consequences.

Peace.

2008-07-05T13:35:00.001-07:00

Still busy. Not even happy. I am in a Rut.

2008-07-03T04:22:00.000-07:00

Days are disappearing so fast. Last time I stopped and looked around was two weeks ago. I am looking forward to the July 4th weekend. But then again, I have a ton of stuff to do :(

I need to breath, but I don't have time for it.

Where can I find some time. I am not the types who can take off and forget the world.

But should I force myself to do that? That is what I am being advised.

Why force it when that is not what I want to do.

Then what is that I want to do? Or better yet, how else can I do it.

Ahhhhhhh.... Answers..?! where are they?!

2008-06-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

eh. Interview sucked. But then again, I never prepared for it.

"For every bond that is made, there is another bond broken." - Doctor Hossain, Organic Chem.

2008-06-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

In the middle of nowhere.
Old abandoned house.
Main door creeks as it opens.
Wooden worn out floors.
spooky spiders and their webs.
Dust and dust mites.
Old huge paintings.
Light beams piercing through the holes.
Only one window in the mansion.
Force the windows wide open.
Fresh cold air gushes in.
Chills of a life time.

I found it. I found it. I found it!! :D :D :D
The Dream I've been dreaming of. The one and only fantasy I've awaited. I found it! Although the final find wasn't the most exciting, the journey to find it was. "Its always the last mission thats the hardest Akka" -Kinnu.
Happy? Yes I am :)
Content? Not yet :|

2008-06-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” -John C. Maxwell.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.: Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 190

"The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does"
-Daisy Bates (1863-1951)

So yea, I got the best out of the quotes above. I have been living them for god's sake. No doubt.

All my unforgivable mistakes are my proofs.

So I ended up not regretting a thing I did. Or may be I just reason it out like that.

Story only applies between ages 11 to 21.

Successful 10 years.

Turns out, I can reason better than most people I know around me.

Good.

So here is the actual story:

So now I have none to guide me. For I have dejected anyone who tried to give a word of advice.

Isn't everyone supposed to have a GURU to guide them through the right path in the end?

Even a worrier like Arjuna had lost his spirit in the historic times. He found Krishna.

But let me reiterate, I reason far better than most I know.

Who am I to trust and who am I to pour my heart out to?

Some I know call me heavy headed for this conclusion of mine.

But I wouldn't want to lie to myself and hope that there is one I know of who could do it better.

It would be a lie. An utter lie.

No one has ever completely gotten to know me.

For I always feel they wouldn't understand the intensity.

I let the cheerful air spread around. They seemed to enjoy it.

I felt like I did something selfless.

I have been there for all those who needed me.

And no doubt they shall run to me when I need them.

But would they ever understand what I need.

Would they comprehend the depth.

Would they ever reason it out or would they follow?

What have I become?

I end it with a quote:
The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

?

2008-06-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

Take me away.
To the Dreamland I'd always dreamed of.
Just you and me today.
Not that, not this, nothing matters now.
Close your eyes and trust me like you do.
Believe me its true and I'll show you how.
I promise I won't disappoint you.
You know me and I know you.
Just take me away.

One of my friends boyfriends birthday. So she wanted me to write something so that she can use it as hers. lol. But I don't have an inspiration. So I stopped writing. Now I start again I guess.

so...

2008-06-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

ok yea... so anyways...

when I was a kid I used to have a friend named A.Keerthi... we were friends till like 9th grade or so. Then I don't know how we were separated.

So the point of the story is that she asked me why my god had so many arms, so many weapons and so much anger in the face. Well she was talking about Durga Devi. And then she told me how her god has peace in his smile and is always welcoming with arms wide open.

No its not a battle of religions. I have been brought up with the idea that all religions have something good, and its up to us to absorb the best.

But then I was offended. I remember. I thought about it so much. I couldn't come up with an answer. That is what intrigued me to learn more about Hinduism. I read books, I talked to people and I listened to priests. It was worth it.

So now I know the answer to the question she asked. Only she is not here for me to let her know. She tried to convert me. I was willing to back then. Just cause I didn't know the answer to that question.

And now I still would convert. For religion is a mere path and all I want is truth. If its hidden somewhere I can't reach... I will find a way to reach there.

Amen.

2008-06-10T11:00:00.001-07:00

My brother is learning about erections and vagina at school. :O Lame? I think so.

So when I was in 6th.. all I learned was (a+b)^2.

Yea and to top it all... he asks me if I am a virgin. Awkward? Yea it was. Um... I already get enough shit from my friends... I don't need it from my brother too now :O :O Right...? Right.

So... (long pause) anyways....

I was researching how Kerala attained the 99% literacy rate thing. Wasn't as easy as I thought. Ento. :O

Ok today I am not as bored. Actually, I got yelled at for sitting sluggishly on the couch with my laptop on my belly. So I decided to change and not sit like that anymore. lol. No no. Just kidding.. I am still sitting like that. Once a dumbass. Always a dumbass.

Peace.

Bastards?

2008-06-10T01:29:00.000-07:00

So I don't get it?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4H5Q3JQgdVI

wtf?

So she wasn't successful coz she was dark? And now all of a sudden she used fair and lovely, got fair and became successful?

YEA OK!

Some Indians are dAmFs.

Thanks but I rather be dark and not succeed than get fair and succeed.

ps. I used to like this dumb bitch coz she is so very talented. But now there is not an ounce of respect left for her from my side.

Peace.

huh?

2008-06-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

One thing forsure. I love to dance. Last night proved it more. Its like I get into a trance... I don't even realize if the person by me dying. I don't feel anything. I don't sense anything. I don't care about the rest. I don't think. I have nothing in my mind. All I do is just... move.

I don't dance to impress. I don't dance to work out. I don't dance to look sexy. I just dance because I want to.

Its like some well programmed system. Music enters and Moves exit.

I get this... some kind of... excitement. I can't describe. I get high. I am on cloud nine.

Love love love love love love love love dance.

um?

2008-06-07T02:42:00.000-07:00

Yea its only been like 2 hours since I last posted my blog.

Okay so the thing is Im still bored. Well, bored doesn't seem to be the right word anymore. Its kinda like I am not content. I am not satisfied may be.

No no, life is great or whatever, I mean, everything is good... good family, good thoughts, good looks :P studies bhi good.... except those negative balances, everything seems to be amazing :P

But still I don't feel that "content" sort of thing in my heart. Yea, I know how it feels like, I experienced it before. But now I can't even sleep, I can't concentrate on one thing. May be I am an ADD patient :O Holy Crap! Hope not! But either way... what the spider is happening.

I feel like I need to chase after something... or put immense amounts of effort into something. But I mean, I sort of have everything... I don't know what I should even go running after? Retarded eh? I know!

I have amazing friends too. I have good support both here and back home?

Ahhh... its driving me nuts... and fruits too... what is it that I am missing?

May be I am supposed to be Mahatma Gandhi junior or Mother Theresa II. May be I should start working towards the betterment of the world.

But what the monkey? I can barely take care of myself. Honest to god. I don't think I am the one to save the world. I already left it to fairies to take care of everyone. She took care of Cinderella. No reason why others can't be helped. eh eh...makes sense eh!!!!

I mean, I just don't get it... why can't we live in a world like Sparta or Hogwards?

But coming back to being content. I want to know what I am missing. May be I am missing a pair of shoes that I am supposed to have in my closet but are still lying in the store waiting for me to come buy them.

Or may be I am to help out those kids who were working when we built our home. I mean, those little hands shouldn't carry sand plates on their head. Why don't they get to have what I had? I mean, I was brought up as a golden child. I agree that not every one can be as precious as me :P But still... why were they deprived of education. Not that I was a fan of education when I was kid either. But I started to understand its importance now. I don't look back and regret a moment of my life. EVER. May be because my parents gave everything to me in a silver platter. And I enjoyed it all. While I enjoyed, these kids worked hard to build my house. In a way I want to say that its not fair. But I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I just want to know what those kids are upto now. They were 8 or 9 then. May be they are about 21 too now. Wonder if they look back and question why weren't sent to school. Coz I would if I were in their shoes.

What is the purpose of my life. To sit here and wonder? Or to chase it and change it? When?

2008-06-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

So its my first blog. NOT. Only coz I blogged before. But this is the first in this blog address. So I guess it can be considered my first blog. yeah. whateve.

But yea, I am super bored and that is the only only only reason I am writing this bullspit.

Aka, No I am not showing off my writing skills that don't exist in the first place. So yea, deal with all the grammatical errors/spelling mistakes/lack of vocab in my "blog"

Ok so I never understood the whole concept of a blog. But I have been blogging since I was 18. Why do they even call it a blog. Like I mean who came up with it. So lame. It kinda sounds like a tounge twister. Like try saying blog like 20 times. Yea. Anyways.

I took the picture above. It was three times as beautiful when I saw it in real life. I love nature. But I love biochem more.

So may be I will break down some the biochemical stuff that I kinda understand and store it. Yea, I think I will use this lame blog for that. Or may be not. I don't know yet.

For when I started this is what I pretty much learned: "Biochemistry covers the arena where chemistry, biochemistry, molecular and cell biology interrelate, presenting the latest discoveries and expanding the understanding of biological phenomena."

Later we moved onto a bit weirder stuff like Alpha helicies and Beta Pleated sheets. Then the properties of each.

Ahhh the beginning stuff is kinda boring now that I think about it. May be I shouldn't write about.

Here is a little advanced stuff:

Interleukin-6-type cytokine signalling through the gp130/Jak/STAT pathway¹

Peter C. HEINRICH², Iris BEHRMANN, Gerhard MÜLLER-NEWEN, Fred SCHAPER and Lutz GRAEVE

Institut für Biochemie, RWTH Aachen, Universitätsklinikum, Pauwelsstrasse 30, D-52057 Aachen, Germany

The family of cytokines signalling through the common receptor subunit gp130 comprises interleukin (IL)-6, IL-11, leukaemia inhibitory factor, oncostatin M, ciliary neurotrophic factor and cardiotrophin-1. These so-called IL-6-type cytokines play an important role in the regulation of complex cellular processes such as gene activation, proliferation and differentiation. The current knowledge on the signal-transduction mechanisms of these cytokines from the plasma membrane to the nucleus is reviewed. In particular, we focus on the assembly of receptor complexes after ligand binding, the activation of receptor-associated kinases of the Janus family, and the recruitment and phosphorylation of transcription factors of the STAT family, which dimerize, translocate to the nucleus, and bind to enhancer elements of respective target genes leading to transcriptional activation. The important players in the signalling pathway, namely the cytokines and the receptor components, the Janus kinases Jak1, Jak2 and Tyk2, the signal transducers and activators of transcription STAT1 and STAT3 and the tyrosine phosphatase SHP2 [SH2 (Src homology 2) domain-containing tyrosine phosphatase] are introduced and their structural/functional properties are discussed. Furthermore, we review various mechanisms involved in the termination of the IL-6-type cytokine signalling, namely the action of tyrosine phosphatases, proteasome, Jak kinase inhibitors SOCS (suppressor of cytokine signalling), protein inhibitors of activated STATs (PIAS), and internalization of the cytokine receptors via gp130. Although all IL-6-type cytokines signal through the gp130/Jak/STAT pathway, the comparison of their physiological properties shows that they elicit not only similar, but also distinct, biological responses. This is reflected in the different phenotypes of IL-6-type-cytokine knock-out animals.

Yes I don't understand it completely either coz its only the abstract. I am in the process of learning this new pathway as well. It should be exciting. I might write what I got out of the journal in my next blog. Or I might not. Don't confuse me. No no, its not u.

Yup. I have be this bored. nitester!